This is a bit of a rant:
When it comes to online dating, or dating in general, there are endless faux pas and injunctions that are easy enough to fall prey to. From the ever-popular shirtless selfie to inappropriate profile content and off putting first messages, there are a solid variety of ways to deter dates. But if you ask me, the absolutely least attractive thing a man can do is outwardly project his insecurities.
I once got an ice breaker message from a guy that read something along the lines of “Man, online dating is brutal. What’s your biggest point of pain when it comes to sites like this?” I didn’t even have to pause a beat. Nothing wears me down more than men who jump straight to the defensive. The names I’ve been called and the accusations and implications against my character that some guys just sling around is outrageous. I get it: you’re a nice guy, you’re tired of being overlooked or rejected, you’re really certain that you’re a catch if only someone would give you the time of day to prove it, nice guys always finish last, yada yada ya. Well, you know what, tough toenails. Suck it up and quit accusing strangers of faults just because you doubt yourself.
Nothing is less attractive.
This post came about after I chatted with a gentleman for a few days and he mentioned that he likes cats but isn’t ready to adopt one. I suggested fostering a cat and gave him the link to a local Cat Rescue in need of foster families. Then I went to sleep. Whilst sleeping he sent me another message, which I didn’t respond to because I was asleep. In the morning I woke up to two messages, one entirely normal and conversational. The second calling me a b*tch and a bad person because I was really leading men on, letting them think I wanted to go on a date when really I was just trying to push them into fostering cats. Curse you crazy cat lady!