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Three’s a Crowd

Last week was an exciting one for me. After a bit of a rocky start, things really took off and by Friday, I felt really blessed to have a number of spectacular opportunities come my way  to round out my week. The majority of offers made to me were hard to refuse but I’ll admit, a couple were a bit questionable. In the last few weeks in particular I’ve noticed a strange new trend emerging in my favorite dating platforms.

To be fair, the propositions that have been made to me by strangers on the interwebs have always been interesting. From a first date hiking in a state park well outside of the city (i.e. a perfect spot to murder me and to bury my body) to the promise of “dinner, drinks and special treats” (no i.e. needed, just use your imagination folks,) I’ve had more than a few unique “opportunities” presented to me. But lately, I’ve been seeing a few more offers like this one:

photo (5)

Flattering, right? And her enthusiasm is undeniable. But this wasn’t the first of such offers I came across last week and upon receiving this well-worded, incredibly friendly message more than a few things ran through my mind.

Now I’ve known plenty of people who are very open about their personal activities, but while I’m a Chatty-Cathy the majority of the time, I think some things are best kept between us two, if you know what I mean. Call me a prude, call me an uppity priss, call me whatever you want, but it has always baffled me how forward and vocal some people are about their bedroom antics, especially with strangers. I know the internet is kind of like the 4th wall that separates people to an extent, creating a strange semi-safe space, but just like when a character shatters that 4th wall in a movie, when a fellow online dater breaks into that new frontier, directing their sexuality at me so pointedly, I find myself a bit jarred.

Mostly, I was just startled. The whole situation reminded me of the Sex and the City episode (Season 1: Episode 8) when Miranda seeks out a bit of validation by answering a classified ad for a threesome after the other ladies neglect to include her in their theoretical threesomes. I guess I’m still stuck in 1998, but I thought threesomes were still confined to classifieds and Craigslist.

And I couldn’t help to think… maybe OkCupid is the new classifieds
(yes, that’s a Carrie reference)

What do you think? Are online dating platforms the new classified ads? If so, don’t you think they should be a little more organized as such. M4W? M4M? W4THREESOME. I wasn’t asking for it, but yet here it came my way. Only in 2013.

BTW: Feel free to jump down my throat about being a sexist for writing this post about a message from a woman, but the fact of the matter is that I forgot to screen shot the one from the dapper gentleman. Whoops.
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6 thoughts on “Three’s a Crowd

  1. Victoria says:

    Hahaha love the sex and the city references ;) and I’ve had this happen to me before too (though it’s usually the man being like my girl likes you and I do to so uh…etc.)

    • Which is more awkward, a guy or a girl making the offer? I guess I just assume that guys are more often up for some multi-partner-action so I was a bit surprised to hear from a girl. But it does take two to tango (and by tango, I mean, agree that a threesome is something to pursue) so it doesn’t matter much who makes the ask, I suppose. To each their own!

      • Victoria says:

        Tough to say…I kind of feel like the guy asking is more awkward because I feel like the girl is essentially competition (which is probably why I wouldn’t be into this in the first place lol…I like to be the star of the show ;) or that the boyfriend could be pressuring her or even that were I to go ahead with it that it would be one of those “oh yeah she couldn’t make it but I’m here *wink* *wink*) lol I’m probably too cynical though :)

  2. I stopped using okc a few weeks ago after one too many awkward dates lol. My coworker showed me cliqie.com and I’m a big fan of that over the others in terms of actually meeting people vs. just entertainment. It has a different approach that feels less sketchy cause you and your friends essentially act as “wingmen”. I like that it helps you find things to do too. Skout’s okay too, but still has it’s fair share of creepers

    • Casey,
      I tried signing up for Cliqie and they said it was overloaded! Still dying to try it. It sounds similar to Grouper – have you tried that one?
      I signed up for Skout but found myself overwhelmed with the initial onslaught of creepies. Maybe I’ll give it another shot.
      Thanks for reading!

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